Back in the saddle again!

I hadn't ridden Lady for several weeks--or was it months? I had been riding Rocky, getting ready for a dressage show, and Lady probably thought I had forgotten her. In spite of my reluctance and fear, I made myself put the saddle on Lady and ride. We started in the indoor arena, in spite of some possibly scary scenery where the new barn connects to one wall of the arena. I had led Lady in to take a look a few days ago, and she showed a lot of interest without any real spooking. So I walked her around and made myself relax, then circled closer to the doorway with two orange cones and a muddy spot where it had rained in. It was good practice for being in charge, and I was proud of myself that she responded calmly to everything I asked of her. Soon I was asking for her smooth runnning walk, and I remembered why I enjoyed riding this special mare. She even went between the orange cones and the doorway, over the muddy area, without problems. After our indoor session, I decided to ride her out to the car (where I keep her saddle). Then I decided to go a bit further, onto the trail beside the pasture. Once I noticed the three bales of hay piled up to be burned, just at the corner of the trail, I was ready for Lady's reaction. True to form, she stopped. That's her way of saying, "I don't want to go any further." I let her stand a moment and look things over, then asked for one more step. She did as I asked. Several times, I asked for one more step, giving her adequate time after each step to think. I was proud of her as she walked past the hay bales, even though I could tell she wasn't totally relaxed. The wind in the big tree nearby didn't help, but Lady is not usually nervous about wind noise--just maybe a little today. Once we got past the tree, Lady settled into a normal walk. After a moment, I turned her for home and was pleased that she stayed calm as we walked back past the 3 hay bales, back to the car. She stood quietly as I removed the saddle and put it in the trunk. Step by step the confidence builds with each positive experience. Baby steps, yes, but moving slowly toward bigger ones later. At my age, I like staying safe.

Lady was better than expected

Our boarding stable is in the process of adding a new barn, attached to one side of the indoor arena. I was scared to ride Lady in there during the construction, and I was even reluctant to take her in there for exercise. Part of the wall had been taken off, and you could look out that big hole to see the new barn being put up. I just knew she would spook! Finally, one day, I decided to take a chance. I led Lady toward the indoor arena, and I could see her head up, looking toward the different view than she had ever seen before. I stopped her before we reached the big gate to the arena, and let her look while I told her all about what was going on. I explained that a new barn was being built, and there was nothing here to hurt her in any way. I told her everything would look different and scary, but it was safe for us to go in and look around. I opened the gate, and let her take her time entering. I walked her around the side of the arena away from the opening, then walked toward it, letting her stop when she wanted to. She looked, standing quietly for a few minutes, while I told her that someday we would go into that barn, but it wasn't ready yet. I walked her around the arena, and let her stop and look again. I let her walk around me on the lunge line, and she stopped several more times to look out the open wall into the area of this new barn, now only an open shell with posts that will be the corners of the new stalls. I was a little surprised that she didn't make any move to turn away or act spooky. She seemed very interested as she stopped to look at this new thing she had never seen before. Perhaps my voice was enough to help her relax, since I wasn't afraid myself. I'm not saying she understood my words, but she was very calm the whole time, and I was pleased with her calmness. She did so much better than I imagined she would! Good girl, Lady! This was a confidence builder for both of us!

To the Seventh Driveway!

How time does fly these days! From one rainy day to another, just thankful to be safe in spite of tornado warnings all around us! But I am happy to report that I did have several short rides before this latest wet spell! Lady and I finally got beyond the stable driveway and out onto the road. We went back onto the newly graded trail behind the pasture, all the way to the edge of the woods, just Lady and me, on three occasions already! She seemed calm enough and I actually enjoyed the outing. Then, on our last ride, we went down the road on Kelly Drive to the seventh driveway. Lady wanted to stop and turn around a bit before that, but I was proud of myself for going a little further than our previous turning point. I asked her to stop and stand still there in the middle of the road until she relaxed with a big sigh. And then we turned back toward the barn and walked calmly along past those seven driveways that marked our gradually expanding comfort zone. From one driveway to seven, we have come during the past two months. We have a long way to go, but we are on our way. Fear sometimes looms larger than it should, but facing it step by step can help diminish its magnitude. My courage was lost, and is now returning slowly. I know it has taken way too long, but we do what we can, when we can. Life seems safer that way.

Bonding Magic

How can I bring back the magic I once knew with my first mare, long ago? Sometimes I feel too tired to enjoy my horses. Too many of them, too much work, not enough time to ride and have fun, and I'm getting older. What can I do to find that magic with Lady?

I know the secret. It is an easy thing.

To find the best in a relationship, spend more time with your girl. It should be time enjoyed, quietly and without any agenda, just being together, talking and walking together, taking her out for grass, taking care of her. Girls like time together.

One trainer recommends sitting in the pasture reading a book until the horse comes to be with you. I don't have time for that. But I can be with her in her stall, or walking down the road, or just being us together wherever we are, without pressure or need to do anything but relax and enjoy each others company, even for 5 or 10 minutes.

Try it.

Another Chance for Lady

For five years, I’ve kept Lady separate from our other two horses. Why? Because she previously seemed determined to kick the daylights out of any horse put with her! I watched one day as she ran across the paddock and planted both back feet on Sammy’s chest as he got up from rolling. No reason, I’m sure, other than her being a mare in heat. I had lost my first mare when she charged another horse, earning a defensive kick that broke her leg. I didn’t want to lose another horse that way.

Lady is what we call an “alpha,” a lead mare, the one whose hormones tell her she is in charge of the herd—with the need to tell other horses to respect her place of leadership. While some mares say it with strong facial expressions, Lady uses her back feet!

For safety reasons, therefore, Lady has the paddock in the morning and our two geldings are out in the afternoon. Not the easiest arrangement, especially if the weather is good only part of the day and someone gets robbed of their time outside. Recently, I read an article that explained how important it is that horses have contact with other horses, since they are basically herd animals. It was a very convincing article.

So last week, I decided to give Lady another chance.

She has mellowed some in the past five years. When she kicked Sammy, those two had a horsey love affair going, and I believe she was mad at him for not giving her the right kind of attention. Sammy is no longer with us. Now it’s old Traveller and young Rocky. Traveller doesn’t move as fast as he used to, and I’m not taking a chance on him getting hurt. Rocky, on the other hand is agile, and he can take care of himself without being aggressive.

Before bringing Lady in, I put Rocky out with her and watched. Before long they were running all over the paddock. Part of the time Lady was chasing Rocky and then they were running together. She did run backward once, right at him, but Rocky easily avoided contact and ran around her kicking up his heels as if to say, I’m not scared of you, Lady!

The next day, I again put them out together a few minutes before bringing her in. They ran again, touched noses a few times, and Lady squealed once. Again, she backed up with the apparent determination to kick, and again Rocky avoided contact.

On the third day, when Rocky went out, she walked over to him, and they touched noses. Rocky walked out into the paddock and Lady came to the door where I waited. And that was it. Wow. I let her in.

Fourth day. I put them together and watched a few minutes, then went to fill water buckets. A short time later, I heard running and looked out. Lady was chasing Rocky, then they were running side by side. I noticed she seemed to be pushing him toward the fence. Rocky suddenly stopped, letting her run past him as he crossed over behind her. I had to smile at his smart maneuvering. Lady had met her match!

While other horse owners at our stable put their horses out together all the time—even though they often come in with bite marks and hoof prints—I have been too scared to let mine enjoy their horsey fellowship. My memory of losing one mare because of her aggressive nature has kept Lady from enjoying her job as herd leader. Am I that over-protective Mom who deprives her kids of growing up with proper exposure to the world?

I’d love to hear from other mare owners with dominant females. Have you had any bad experiences putting a bossy mare with other horses? Does it make a difference if they are kept with other mares or with geldings? Or do you keep them separate? How much can we protect our animals without depriving them of healthy social growth? Please share!

Shed Hair and Stress at the same time!

Coming back home after three days of the Illinois Horse Fair, I was full of ideas and plans, but found myself way behind in everything! Where to begin! I was taking an online writing course and the final assignment was due. I hoped to catch up on everything Monday morning. But you know the saying about the best made plans...well, my DSL had a problem and I couldn't get online. Needless to say, the morning was full of great stress and frustration. And then I had to go to the barn.
I had planned to ride Lady, but I wasn't in any mood to be her calm confident leader! I ended up brushing the dirt and hair from her coat and combing her snarled mane. I even worked on cleaning up her face. As I brushed, she moved her head up and down to help me. The pile of hair on the floor was growing. I LOVE to see a horse shedding--it just says SPRING better than anything I know. Except maybe the daffodils that are ready to pop open.
Lady stood there quietly, obviously loving the attention. As I worked on her, my frustration and tenseness loosened up and seemed to fall on the floor along with all her shedding black dirty hair. Good therapy! An hour with Lady and my clothes were covered with hair and dust, but I felt much better. Now I felt ready to ride, but that would wait until another day when I had more time. Just being with Lady had eased my stress.
Lady is more than a horse I ride. She is my partner and my friend. And sometimes grooming her is good for both of us. Many horse owners spend more time taking care of their horse than they do in the saddle. That's OK. Our relationship with a horse is more than riding. I don't think men understand that. And that's OK, too. We deserve to enjoy our own special thing. Don't we?

New beginnings...

I always talk to my horses. Especially to Lady. I promised her yesterday that I would soon get back to giving her more attention, and riding again. She looked up from her supper grain at me with a possible, "I'm ready when you are." I am leaving this morning for a weekend of the Illinois Horse Fair! And when I come back, I hope to be all pumped up to be a real horsewoman again, after feeling so distant over the winter. Spring is coming and I'm going to start over and do better! Like someone has said, if the Good Lord is willing, I'll be back to fulfull my promise! I am glad that He gives us a new beginning each morning. Lamentations 3"22-23 tells us "Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning, Great is Your faithfulness!"