Monday, March 14, 2011

Bonding Magic

How can I bring back the magic I once knew with my first mare, long ago? Sometimes I feel too tired to enjoy my horses. Too many of them, too much work, not enough time to ride and have fun, and I'm getting older. What can I do to find that magic with Lady?

I know the secret. It is an easy thing.

To find the best in a relationship, spend more time with your girl. It should be time enjoyed, quietly and without any agenda, just being together, talking and walking together, taking her out for grass, taking care of her. Girls like time together.

One trainer recommends sitting in the pasture reading a book until the horse comes to be with you. I don't have time for that. But I can be with her in her stall, or walking down the road, or just being us together wherever we are, without pressure or need to do anything but relax and enjoy each others company, even for 5 or 10 minutes.

Try it.


Ginger said...

This past September I took a spill off my mare, Cheyenne. I sustained a fracture in my vertibrae which set me back for months. It had been about 3 wks after the accident that I was able to go out to visit with her. I didn't know what reception I would receive after being away for that long. I walked out to the pasture where she was and called out her name. Her head came up and immediately she loped toward me, kicking up her heels and whinneying all the way. My heart swelled with love at the sight of her and I knew at that moment we were bonded forever!

Betsy Kelleher said...

Ginger, thanks for sharing. What a wonderful greeting Cheyenne gave you when you came back! That would have warmed any owner's heart. I can see that your mare is special and that your accident hasn't hurt your bond. I'm so sorry you got hurt that bad. Please take time to heal properly, and you can still enjoy your mare's company from the ground for awhile. Let us know how it goes when you are ready to ride again. Prayers for your healing!

Andrea said...

I didn’t grow up around horses, but I’ve always been drawn to them, just the sight of them in a field is mesmerizing. I can imagine having a horse the way you describe, Betsy, just being with her, talking, walking beside, petting, but not riding---like people who have cats they can’t pick up, but still enjoy. Has it been your experience that most horses do bond with you? This is the first blog I’ve read, so you may have answered this elsewhere. :-)

Betsy Kelleher said...

Andrea, thanks for posting! No, I don't think a horse always bonds to every owner. And sometimes it takes longer to form a good bond with a certain horse. Just like a relationship between two people, this bond we talk about might be very close or not. And a horse often works for an owner, perhaps from fear or because of good training, even if the bond isn't that great. In my opinion, however, the bond is what makes the horse want to be with you and give you his/her most willing attitude. Sometimes its that bond that makes a horse do courageous things for you. Some trainers say not to get on a horse that doesn't have some degree of bonding with the rider. I agree; it's safer.